The Read Aunt Mzansi

Unless you're dancing, never make your circle bigger!  Have you looked at the effort, time and emotions it takes to keep up with everyone and everything? It's a job and a half. Sure, we want those 3000+ friends on Facebook to feel popular and known. The Twitter followers without real names, never mind faces. Those heART emojis on Instagram to make us feel liked and appreciated. We all want, and love attention. But at what cost? Notice how frustrated we get when we don't get those? When we actually come back to the reality that those people might actually have lives, real ones that demand to be lived? Is it all worth it? Have our lives equated to the like-pass-forget mantra? Take this. Go back if you will. Having a few real friends, whose names you know, faces you'll never forget (unless your mind meets a tragedy), friends whose numbers you know by heART, can call or text without worrying about being a destruction, friends whom can help you in your time of need, the one...

He never apologised. Yes, you. You never apologised. You never apologised for coming into my life and leaving without saying goodbye. You never apologised for being around but never staying. You never did. You never apologised for not being ready and yet acting like you knew when you'd be. You never apologised. You never apologised for that time you kissed me in the middle of the road and acted like it meant nothing, afterward. Maybe it did but, you never apologised. You never apologised for that time that you came over to my house and I baked for you, something I only do when I'm depressed, and yet you took it like a hobby. You never apologised for having relationships with my entire family while ours was suffering, suffocating. You never apologised. You never apologised for that one time you slept over, slit inside of me, only to get out within seconds because well...we couldn't. You never apologised for the other time when we fixed things and we were wrapped passionatel...

Having just relocated, something that took all of me,  a lot of 'sucking it up'; I thought I was ready to take on the world. Okay, I am. But, on the morning of my First Sunday here, my ready-to-take-on-the-world shores were flooded with a tide of emotion that I've never felt before. I am Konscious of myself. The first thing about my Self Konsciousness is feeling comfortable, in and out of my body. I have always felt that way about myself, except for that one time I was at school when my periods stARTed - I was frustrated for the whole week - but I overcame that. Fast forward to my First Sunday,  that flood of emotion came back, and it was back to strangle the life out of me. I wore my best Sunday Clothes, clothes I've been wearing and wore that morning knowing I'd look and FEEL good. Little did I know. After putting on my dress, I stARTed seeing eyes and hearing voices of judgement in my head about how short my dress was, how my cleavage was in 'their' face...